A Visit to the Doctor

I had my yearly physical today. I had put it off for as long as I could. Going to the doctor is second only to going to the dentist on my list of things I hate to do. But I went. I had written down some things to cover with the doctor, and we systematically went through the list. I always feel pretty upbeat when I visit the doctor - maybe it's part of the "put on a happy face" mentality that I've always had. I bop along the halls at school like I'm the happiest person on earth. Having that happy face is good most of the time, but I decided it was time to take off the happy face and be honest. I'm depressed - have been for several years - I'm doing better than I was two years ago when it was at its worst, but still not good. Most days I come home from work and hibernate at home until I go to work the next day. I don't get out and do things with my friends because I have gained weight...and we're not talking about just a few pounds. There have been weekends when I've gotten home from work on Friday afternoon and haven't left the house again until I go to work on Monday morning. Sitting alone at home, day after day, doing little besides watching tv and eating, is not a good thing. Since talking to a counselor and trying to make myself get out and do things have not worked for me, The doctor and I discussed my trying a "mild" antidepressant, and so that's what I'm going to do. I feel hopeful that it will help. I know that at heart I'm an optimistic and outgoing person. The past four years have thrown some fairly serious emotional punches at me - and maybe this will be what I need to get back to my old self.