Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Being Thankful

I had mentioned in the last post that I had dinner last night with two coworkers. We got together because of Nancy. Nancy lost her husband two years ago to cancer. She nursed him through some awful times, and then was left to take care of her two sons by herself - both young adults - late teens/early twenties - the youngest still living at home. At the beginning of this school year - during the anniversary week of her husband's death - she went upstairs to check on her son before leaving for work. He was still in bed asleep, and so she decided to let him sleep. She went on to work. She got home that afternoon, went upstairs and found him exactly as he had been when she'd left that morning. He was dead. Now, almost two months later, the autopsy report still isn't back. Other than satisfying curiosity or determining if there is someone to blame, the autopsy results don't matter. They won't change the fact her son is gone - that she is going through every parent's worst nightmare. And I can't do anything for her except just be there and cry with her - and get together occasionally for dinner to get her out of the house and with friends again.

Tragedies like that make me both thankful, and they also scare me. Thankful for my close family and for my healthy children and grandchildren. Scared because maybe my life has been too easy - maybe life is just waiting to whallop me with a major blow. That sounds pessimistic, but it isn't. I don't dwell on it. It's just a thought that goes through my mind at times. Is there such a thing as being too lucky?

1 comment:

Jane Ann said...

Carol, you are giving your friend a wonderful gift. Encouraging her to get out and spend time with friends is very helpful. It is wonderful to have friends who will cry with you and who will not be uncomfortable when you cry. I found that I really appreciated it when my friends talked about Ray and let me talk about him. One of the mistakes that people make (and I think it is an honest mistake) is to think that it makes the person uncomfortable to talk about the one who died. On the contrary, it is helpful. Just because they are dead does not mean they are no longer part of your life. You still think about them and want to talk about them. Your friend is very fortunate to have good friends to surround her. If you feel it is appropriate, give her my condolences and that I will pray for her. I would be glad to communicate with her if she would like to talk to someone who has been there.