Translating Those Report Card Comments

I found a great book for teachers: The Reading Teacher's Book of Lists. It has a list for just about anything in the area of reading education: phonics example words, picture nouns, easily confused words, math vocabulary, literary terms, predictable books, basic sentence patterns, activities for language development, onomatopoenia, palindromes, English sounds not used in other languages, web sites for reading instruction, book interest arousers...and the list goes on. There are 194 lists! One of the lists that captured my immediate attention was the list entitled "Report Card Help." It lists 20 diplimatic ways to describe a child's behavior. I'll select my top ten.

So, without further ado, for parents who are trying to decipler what those report card comments REALLY mean, and for teachers who are looking for kinder and gentler ways to impart bad news, here is my TOP TEN list of Teacher-ese for undesirable student behavior:

(10) is a klutz: "has difficulty with motor control and coordination"
(9) smells bad: "needs guidance in development of good habits of hygiene"
(8) is lazy: "needs ongoing supervision in order to work well"
(7) has a big mouth: "needs to develop quieter habits of communication"
(6) bullies others: "has qualities of leadership, but needs to use them more constructively"
(5) is disliked by others: "Needs help in developing meaningful peer
relationships"
(4) eats like a pig: "needs to develop more refined table manners"
(3) cheats: "needs help in learning to adhere to rules and standards of fair play"
(2) steals: "needs help in learning to respect the property rights of others"
And my #1 favorite report card comment translation:
(1) lies: "shows difficulty in distinguishing between imaginary and factual material"

Now you know. You can go back and read your own report cards or those of your children and know what the teachers were really trying to tell you.